When was the last time you thought about why you tie your shoelaces the way you do?

How about the way you interact with the wait service at a restaurant?

When you meet someone not of the same race as you?

Most of us don’t think about what we believe. We just act.

But do we act from our own belief system, that central core that makes us proud of who we are?

Or is it learned behavior — someone else’s thought system that we were taught — and that can sometimes make us feel a little… regretful perhaps?

This month Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey are presenting their most recent free meditation series: ’21-Day Meditation Experience, Become What You Believe!’

So I thought I would complement what they are doing with my own take on belief systems. Those that are learned.

Learned behaviors are behaviors that manifest as:

• body language
• facial expressions
• word choice
• physical action

Oftentimes, learned behaviors become rote reactions — learning based on repetition — that were originally infused into our consciousness when we were children through observation — or direct teaching by parents, other adults, and even our friends.

Children learn through observation and imitation.

What were you taught? — What do you teach?

As we mature, exposures in childhood become belief systems, reinforced through repeated behaviors in like circumstances. Eventually we ‘believe’ robotically.

Which is good if those exposures resulted in kindness and acceptance as part of our belief systems, but not good if they resulted in anger and prejudice.

Fear, suspicion, and prejudice towards others are learned by people who felt threatened by someone or something, or who passed down those feelings through generations. (Think Hatfields and McCoys, and the 17th century 30-year war between the Protestants and the Catholics.)

But suspicion and prejudice never make anyone happy.

In truth, they make everyone unhappy.

So, rather than every time you are angered or annoyed by someone — or feel the impulse to be rude to a service person — think about why you are reacting that way!

How is it that you believe that it is right to be so?

Behavioral psychologists believe that our attitudes, or how we evaluate different things including people, ideas, and objects, can be both explicit and implicit.

Explicit attitudes are the ones that we form consciously and of which we are fully aware. For instance, I’m angry with you because you threw away my favorite shirt! That anger is in my awareness consciousness.

However, if I’m rude to you merely because you are Asian, White, or African American, that is a manifestation of an implicit attitude, an unconscious attitude that has a powerful influence on my behavior.

This is how and why we react to like circumstances in a similar manner  — just like we always did — many times due to the observation and imitation systems we learned as children.

And these are the reactions we need to police in ourselves! They are so very instant because they are unconscious!

It has been said that every interaction we have with others is by no accident. The people in our lives, including strangers that cross our path are there for a reason.

It is how we react to people, and how we make them feel  — either lifting them up or pulling them down — that reflects who we are.

And these daily interactions provide opportunities for us to be who we want to be.

Every encounter is an opportunity to change ourselves for the better.

One of my favorite quotes is by Wayne Dyer:

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.”

If that doesn’t sound like learned robotic behavior nothing does! Why would we do that?

It’s time to stop! Think before acting. Consider the other person.

Is he or she having a better day for having met you?

If the behaviors you learned manifest as belittling or condescending and you do nothing to change that, you will go through life not only pulling others down, but finding that you experience the same as a result.

Do yourself a favor — take the time to examine your belief systems! Are they yours — the core you — or someone else’s?

People don’t want to be rude or hateful, and usually they don’t understand why they are so. They merely need the time to learn a better way — and to:

Change their understanding.

Belief systems can be changed with each life experience.

In conclusion, if you have never experienced one of Deepak Chopra and Oprah’s meditation series, it is well worth your time.

Oprah shares her personal insights prior to each meditation, followed by Deepak, who is a master at simplifying the complex. Become What You Believe is about overcoming personal limitations, limitations that you also learned along the way, based on a disbelief that you:

• are loving and lovable
• have a feeling of self-worth
• feel secure and safe
• possess a sense of wholeness

As always, Deepak guides you to establishing a new awareness and a belief system that leads to personal peace and happiness.

Which is really what we all want anyway.

When was the last time you thought about why you believe what you believe?

Thanks for viewing. Tune in next week for Habits – Who’s In Control?

Smiles, Frowns, & Kisses — Be Your Own Wisdom

 

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